Lesson Learned… I’m All In

hebrews-11-1-kjv-web

This was the very first Bible verse I have ever read and committed to memory. Until this week, I hadn’t really comprehended how important it is to have FAITH.  I’ve spent my entire life afraid. Afraid of dying, afraid of being alone, afraid of… being afraid.  While doing the Bible study The Quest by Beth Moore, I read something that just rattled me to the core:  fear is the absence of faith.  Where there is true, uncompromising faith, there is no need to be afraid.  I’ve spent the best part of my years thinking that I was “living in a house with no floor.”  I had no foundation, nothing I could really believe was holding me up. I was dangling in mid-air, waiting for someone else to build the floor for me, or move me somewhere else so I didn’t have to look down.  Basically, I felt like I didn’t have control over anything, I was just riding in a car that was screaming down a mountain road, with the inevitable crash at the end.  If you’re good, you go to heaven, bad, go to hell.

But THIS… this FAITH thing, that I’ve known for so long, didn’t sink in until now.  I mean it hit me in the forehead like a 2 by 4!  “Faith is the evidence of things not seen.”  Like  Detective Colombo on my favorite tv show, you don’t have to actually see it to believe it.  Faith is in, and of itself, the evidence. My son is a detective and tells me all the time about how his “gut feeling” helps him find evidence.  As moms we know in our HEART when our babies don’t feel well.  We just know as we reach for the phone to make a doctor’s appointment that this child needs help.

umbrella faith

So, I knew the words in the verse, and I knew how I felt so afraid, but until now I hadn’t connected the two. So, I need to have faith that God has my future.  My footsteps aren’t so important now.  I can stand where I need to stand, and focus on the next part of the verse: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for.”  This was the easy part before I turned 52.  I knew I wanted healthy kids, a nice home, healthy marriage, and good health.  So, now I don’t know WHAT I WANT! Well, that’s where faith comes in again. I just ask God to give me something to be passionate about. Just give me a direction, and walk with me. No, I don’t want to be just a little wind up doll that follows the path and then the power runs out.  I want a QUEST.  A JOURNEY.  A VERY long walk.  And I mean REALLY LONG.  Because if I know where the end is, I’m going to focus on getting finished, and not notice what is going on around me.  I want to take this walk in the woods and notice all there is to see, smell, and hear. Rain or shine. I’m all in…

faith

Author: theunusualcrafter

I'm the person who will try the weird Pinterest crafty tricks. But for now, I'm working on getting through being 52, and how I can use my "craftiness" to make life more meaningful. Join my Quest through midlife!

6 thoughts on “Lesson Learned… I’m All In”

  1. Good morning, Sandy I SO understand what you have been going thru and feeling. I to have had this struggle and still do on occasion. My faith is strong but like any human being I am weak. The death of my daughter and my dad shook me to my core and I began to fear death.. I know I have Jesus by my side but it us hard.. Love you my friend. If you ever need me… I’m just a phone call away.

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  2. Great blog. Wish I could write my thoughts so well. Keep the Faith.my saying at the cancer center. I’ve been looking for faith necklaces to sell.

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